It has been SO.TOO.Long since my last blog. I can hardly believe it. And then I realize that even my last blogs were like a recap of photos. This wasn't what I intended..by any means.
Who has time for thoughts? I get random glimpses of blogs I'd love to pen. And then they fade into the time warp that is my life. Am I really this busy? Can it be?
I remember a time when Elida was small and we were living in Beverly Hills.. before she was born I had visions that while my baby slept I could get chores done, read grand books that would inspire my mind.. and maybe even collect my thoughts. Catch a tivo'd show here and there... ...and then, she was born. And I didn't care for the in-security of her windows in her bedroom. So, we moved her to our room. And then into our bed bcs of her butt sensors (she would awaken and never allow a crib transfer). Then I actually needed rest. So- I slept with her. Almost always. But- if I didn't.. the fear was of her falling off the bed. So I'd be quiet. Listening always. - Oh, also, we didn't have monitors. The monitors we were gifted picked up the baby upstairs along with a ton of interference from other apartments. So.. we.were.screwed. ---
Looking back- I cannot imagine NOT sleeping those nites with her. I cannot imagine if I didn't feel protective of her windows. If I didn't feel like I wanted her near me. I agree with everything we did. ..and everything that we didn't DO or GET because we had her. SHE was ours. The best gift we'd been given. Why would I ever put her down in a spot that was not the best for her? ....
I have read for the 2nd time now- that grown mothers of grown children say that they would have given more hugs. kisses. and told thier children they were good. THey also should have paid less attention to dirt and getting things done.
Okay. I take it. I'll do it. ... I always feel like you can always tweak your lifestyle to be with your children but you can't tweak your children for not having been with them. ....
If I could have a massive family bed, I would. I would love nothing more than wall to wall mattress that noone can fall out of. I only wish we'd gotten creative and cared more about being together and accepting our sleeping situation as it was instead of fighting it for the asthetics of the room!
Okay- so fast fwd a few years and out comes Rubenski. She is the best sleeper ever. In fact, in her early days, like week 2, I called 911 bcs she was unwakeable... Scary. ...but honestly, we're so embedded (no pun) in parenting and the cosleep situation that despite DH's gripes, I'm happily loving it all. Each person I sleep with at nite is cuddly and cozy, even when it's actually him! :) There isn't a place I'd rather be than by Elida's or Ruby's or Jason's side. ...parenting is not as accidental as it sounds in paragraph 1. We do what we do bcs we love and bcs we care.. and bcs we want to make it work.. for us all. .. currently we gave up our 'big'est bedroom for our 2nd to smallest member. Elida. She has a luxurious bedroom bathroom suite that fits her huge double trundle king sized fun bed. It's great.. her toys are contained so I can actually be with her instead of cleaning my living room (can you hear the angels singing?)..
It's unorthodox.. not in any great measure and there are days when I wonder if we're nuts.. cramming our bed into thecomputer room and abandoning any hope of a nite's rest w/o little toes at our backsides, but.. it works. for us. We are not everyone else's family. We aren't any one else's family. We are ours. And our irons are in our fire..
Some of the things we've got going on.. Elida's in ballet. She loves it. She's cute and pink and glorious.
Ruby is loving running away from us.. and laughing in our faces as we hollar for her to STOP. I remember this phase well from her sister... the spit hasn't fallen far from the fire! :)
Daddy is sad to say that his truck is for sale, but he's knee deep in rescuing us from signing leases ever again. :)
Mommy, well, I'm the glue. I do my job as dvd slinger nites and weekends while daddy puts his ever-so-patient personality to work putting not one but TWO little girls to bed when I'm gone.. and often when I'm home too! :)
I'm laughing more then ever, loving more than I'd ever imagined and really just living. Mom'ing. In my own way.. and loving it.:)
1 week ago
